Do you remember your old family home? The days spent together watching crummy Saturday night TV, many a Christmas morning spent ripping open presents and the family dinners around the large dining room table. The bricks and mortar where you grew up and spent your youth will always evoke the happiest of memories as you reminisce about the past. However, as you venture further into adulthood, you are only too aware that the twilight years are catching up with your parents. Now you have children yourself, you understand the importance of memory making and providing the best home life for your little ones.
While it may seem like an idea that could disrupt the dynamic of family life, there are some clear advantages to moving an elderly parent into your humble abode. Take a look why this might be worth considering.
Having grandma sell her home to move in with you can revolutionize the family finances. Grandma can contribute to the running of the household including bills, the food shop, and fuel costs. Having sold her home, she will have a tidy nest egg in the bank should her needs warrant extra specialist care that you cannot provide. The great aspect of having an older relative living with you is the rich experience they can provide for your kids. Yes, you can save money on childminding costs, but they can also tell the most wonderful stories and engage your kids with history and the past.
There often comes a point in your life when you will have to decide where your parent should live. Should they come and live with you or should you locate a care home for them to reside? If they remain within your four walls, you will have to balance the pros and cons of having another body within the home. Do you have enough space? Can you ensure that they get the care they need? If the answer to these questions is ‘yes’, then you may find that you can generate a new and better family dynamic within the home.
You may have concerns about physical abuse in a nursing home which may lead you to feeling wary about suggesting such a place to your mom or dad. However, with careful vetting and visits to any potential nursing home, you should get a feel for the ethos and atmosphere of the place. It’s vital that your parent is comfortable should they be moving to a residence away from their closest family. If they need round the clock medical care, you may not be able to provide it.
If your current dwelling isn’t older person friendly or you are struggling to find extra space, you may want to consider pooling resources. If your mom or dad has sold their humble abode, you could do the same. Then, by putting your nest eggs together, you may be able to find a bigger and more suitable property that fits the requirements for the entire family. This might mean living in a better area, having some more outside space and even having a separate annexe for your elderly relative so they can still maintain some of their independence.
Having someone else living with you, even if they are a parent that you love unconditionally, can take some getting used to. You will inevitably have rules within your house that need to be heeded. Smoking, drinking and noise levels need to be considered by everyone living within your four walls. A grandparent may naturally dote on their grandchildren, but this doesn’t mean spoiling them or pandering to their every want. You will need to make this clear to your mom or dad before you end up with a nightmare family dynamic.
It’s vital that your parent maintains their social circle and is able to keep in contact with their friends. Even if you live miles away, you need to make the effort to accommodate their social and emotional needs. At the same time, they will also need to give you space if you are hosting a function, soiree or dinner party. The give and take in these situations must go both ways.
Initially, the idea of having an elderly parent move in with you could be motivated by finances. However, other social, emotional and physical aspects need to be considered for the set up to be worthwhile. Fundamentally, everyone needs to benefit from this move, and it’s up to you and your family to weight up the advantages and disadvantages for all involved.